I started talking with Laura Gibson Wing online when Laura blogged about this article I had contributed to an online journal about “new media.” We finally met on the last day of the OUT SIDE IN show.
wlauragibson: it's a time lapse of the night
iamtryingtopick: AIM crashed again. i lost the record of our session. do you have it?
iamtryingtopick: can you copy paste it here?
wlauragibson: oh sure
iamtryingtopick: sorry, did i go away? been having trouble with the connection here.
Laura Wing: dang. no i'm here
iamtryingtopick: you're quite the blogger.
Laura Wing: have you been reading it? what do you think? i would really like to know
iamtryingtopick: i need to look at it some more
iamtryingtopick: what are you doing for your senior show?
Laura Wing: um, i wish i knew
Laura Wing: i have had so many different ideas and i am very restless and get disenchanted and lose motivation if i don't think it is the best i could be doing right now or most interested in right now
iamtryingtopick: what sort of work have you done? links?
Laura Wing: don't have any links at this point, i've only been an art major for two semesters, i changed a lot
Laura Wing: oooo, i do have one link
iamtryingtopick: i know, you changed schools? where are you now?
Laura Wing: time lapse
iamtryingtopick: "time lapse"?
Laura Wing: http://vimeo.com/157497 so this is the opening night of a show i did
Laura Wing: i curated it.
iamtryingtopick: Safari can’t open the page “http://vimeo.com/157497” because it can’t find the server “vimeo.com”
Laura Wing: ok, well it may not be worth it
iamtryingtopick: what am i supposed to see there?
iamtryingtopick has gone offline.
Laura Wing: it's a time lapse of the night
iamtryingtopick: what is interesting to me is all this finagling with the technology. all these negotiations.
iamtryingtopick: "(not so) new media."
iamtryingtopick: which is how we got here in the first place. I don't have our first chat session right from the start, just from the point after the crash ...
iamtryingtopick: the app just crashed
iamtryingtopick: to recap ...
iamtryingtopick: you read my article "Let Me Tell You Something: Why I Like Movies Better Than Art."
iamtryingtopick: you blogged about it here http://www.existentialmedia.org/ladyparts/
iamtryingtopick: that led me to contact you for this conversation
wlauragibson: I like this recap
iamtryingtopick: this is you http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladyparts/779981423/
wlauragibson: i found your article through http://rhizome.org/
iamtryingtopick: and we are the generation w/out privacy
wlauragibson: yeah http://nymag.com/news/features/27341/
iamtryingtopick: so you are interested in new media, quote unquote?
iamtryingtopick: that was what i was writing about
wlauragibson: I am interested in identifying what is on the cusp of our culture
iamtryingtopick: the cusp? like, what's yer sign?
wlauragibson: what we think history has lead us to producing, what is trying to tell the truth
iamtryingtopick: i'm really interested in signs
wlauragibson: and sometimes "new" media can do that
wlauragibson: Plus, you have to write a lot of papers in UG
iamtryingtopick: you referred to doing art as a "struggle"
wlauragibson: I was referring to showing art as a struggle
wlauragibson: that's what attracts me to your analysis of it
iamtryingtopick: you are struggling with the narcissistic exhibitionist aspect of it?
wlauragibson: yes, in a way
iamtryingtopick: versus the idea of giving something to people, offering ...?
wlauragibson: It also has to do with wanting art to be a process, a participation
iamtryingtopick: right, not just "lookit what i did!"
iamtryingtopick: i am going to be participating in a relational aesthetics conference in the fall
iamtryingtopick: in canada
wlauragibson: that sounds really beautiful, the idea of it anyway
wlauragibson: not canada, the conference
iamtryingtopick: O Canada! Our home and native land!
wlauragibson: Harrell Fletcher !!!!
iamtryingtopick: yeah he's the keynote speaker -- you like?
wlauragibson: yes, i think his work is so important
wlauragibson: or i wish i had the right adjective
wlauragibson: i think he is an amazing human
iamtryingtopick: i have problems with what he does ...
wlauragibson: really, what
iamtryingtopick: but it could be said i am suspicious of everything
wlauragibson: i admire your honesty
wlauragibson: but, i'm curious, what are you suspicious of?
iamtryingtopick: i feel like Harrell, by focusing so much on "the common person," and being this white knight who "gives the common person a voice"
wlauragibson: yeah, i'm with you
iamtryingtopick: is really upholding the class distinction of the artist as the elite
wlauragibson: like "if it weren't for him"
iamtryingtopick: it seems disengenuous to me, however you spell it
wlauragibson: i think a lot of artists can be like that
iamtryingtopick: where is the self-critique?
iamtryingtopick: i have an activist mindset, certainly
wlauragibson: yes, that is why i was attracted to your article so much
wlauragibson: what i mean by on the cusp is also finding people to talk to like this
wlauragibson: this right here, being honest
wlauragibson: i guess, i wish more people were honest
wlauragibson: but sometimes i wonder if that just means, i wish more people were like me
iamtryingtopick: ha! when i was a kid i didn't wish for a brother, because my parents were divorced -- so i wished for a clone.
wlauragibson: so rad, how much of life is that?
wlauragibson: that a whole life could be spent trying to make clones, that says a lot
iamtryingtopick: are you catholic?
iamtryingtopick: you said you had gone to Loyola Marymount University
wlauragibson: yeah, that had a nice honors program
iamtryingtopick: and then there is that idea of struggle -- you seem to be interested in providing a service -- your approach seems very moral, which i identify with
wlauragibson: i have been raised in an evangelical christian home
wlauragibson: chalvary chaple
wlauragibson: whoa spelling
iamtryingtopick: i got what you meant: http://www.calvarychapel.com/
iamtryingtopick: funny ...
iamtryingtopick: after seeing sam durant lecture one time, this bit of the gospel popped into my head
iamtryingtopick: "the poor you will always have with you"
J says it to his apostles who rebuke a woman -- mary magdelene? -- after she anoints J's feet in expensive oil
iamtryingtopick: "you should have spent that money on the poor!" they say -- and J says:
iamtryingtopick: "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me."
iamtryingtopick: and i looked it up on the interweb and there was a great article explaining it, and the author says that what J is saying is:
iamtryingtopick: you can always make an *issue* out of "the poor" -- something to get worked up about and make a career out of -- but this woman is showing compassion in the moment, for someone right in front of her
wlauragibson: yes... that's so important
wlauragibson: what do you think of that passage?
wlauragibson: do you think it relates exactly to what you are doing -- relational art -- or am i taking it wrong
iamtryingtopick: ah yes -- relating to someone, is that what you mean?
iamtryingtopick: well i get worked up about issues!
wlauragibson: yeah, me too
iamtryingtopick: and look how righteous my article is, the one you blogged about
wlauragibson: yeah, for sure
wlauragibson: you have the answer
iamtryingtopick: not totally -- it's me trying to figure things out
iamtryingtopick: but i make these pronouncements along the way
and risk alienating people
wlauragibson: yeah, i completely relate to that
iamtryingtopick: you (((relate))) to that
iamtryingtopick: it's always the ones who feel alienated who alienate
iamtryingtopick: there he goes with the pontification again
wlauragibson: i forgot this would be printed
iamtryingtopick: and ...?
wlauragibson: i got too excited and honest
iamtryingtopick: no you don't, you're fine
iamtryingtopick: as usual i am talking too much
wlauragibson: this is sort of sad and strange to say good bye.
iamtryingtopick: let's talk more! i want to hear more about you
wlauragibson: well now we're connected and relating
iamtryingtopick: when again is good?
wlauragibson: through the internets
iamtryingtopick: see, i feel like i was just talking at you.
wlauragibson: i just remembered some stuff you could look at if you want and follow the link on this one
wlauragibson: this is the flickr album from that show I curated http://www.flickr.com/photos/existentialmedia/sets/72157600012209057/
wlauragibson: even though this is beside the point now
iamtryingtopick: i am looking at both of those links.
iamtryingtopick: this girl:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/existentialmedia/434101240/in/set-72157600012209057/ reminds me of an ex gf
wlauragibson: that's the girl you thought i was at first from last time
iamtryingtopick: huh. are these of your face?
iamtryingtopick: what did you do in the show the other link was for?
wlauragibson: an audio piece, and the video projected on the front wall
wlauragibson: it was supposed to be mainly people other than me, as a requirement for the class
wlauragibson: the girlfriend?
iamtryingtopick: yeah, me and her.
wlauragibson: i can see how that reminds you of jenna
iamtryingtopick: the mouth. the red jacket. the hair cut.
wlauragibson: you are materializing
wlauragibson: i mean, now you have a face
iamtryingtopick: and i have your face
iamtryingtopick: that work with the face molds is very aesthetic, very craft oriented -- which is not the kind of work i do --
iamtryingtopick: it's certainly not the kind of work that is encouraged in the program i was in.
wlauragibson: the path is so much clearer for that kind of art
iamtryingtopick: so much clearer?
wlauragibson: you refine a skill, the next project or step has some ind of definite element
wlauragibson: like clay, in that case
wlauragibson: but it's just not me, i tried it and just got disinterested. i am much more concept driven
iamtryingtopick: you mean the next piece shows the refinement of the skill?
iamtryingtopick: is that what you meant?
wlauragibson: you could say that everything is refinement
wlauragibson: i keep trying to say it right and not sending it
iamtryingtopick: with more conceptually oriented work, going from one piece to the next is harder, i think.
wlauragibson: yes. that's what i was trying to say
iamtryingtopick: so your senior thesis project will conceptually oriented?
wlauragibson: yes. the clay project was also
iamtryingtopick: the day project?
wlauragibson: the self as architecture, human touch
wlauragibson: it really interests me, this whole process
wlauragibson: i just feel much younger and stranger than i have felt in a long time
wlauragibson: thank you for this
iamtryingtopick: right this minute? or in general?
wlauragibson: this minute
iamtryingtopick: why do you think that is?
wlauragibson: i think it has a lot to do with being confronted with what people are able to gather from "new media," what they are not.
wlauragibson: what that means or doesn't mean
wlauragibson: a dull head among windy spaces
wlauragibson: i am experiencing the collision from trying to speak casually while portraying what I have lived to become, piled my experiences and thoughts to make a self.
wlauragibson: it makes me wonder why i want that, why i can't just talk
iamtryingtopick: just say what's on your mind
iamtryingtopick: type anything
iamtryingtopick: so you gonna be an artist or what?
wlauragibson: yeah, what shape that will take i'm not sure yet
wlauragibson: whatever that means
iamtryingtopick: when would you ever be sure? once you're sure the work gets boring. but i suppose it is a question of degree.
wlauragibson: i don't want to be sure
iamtryingtopick: you're sure of that?
iamtryingtopick: the connection stalled over here.
iamtryingtopick: hey did you tell me your zodiac sign?
wlauragibson: i am not hip on that stuff. i feel so naked saying it cause i have no idea what it could mean to you
iamtryingtopick: how do you feel about our conversations?
wlauragibson: i am really curious about how i will continue to process the idea of them and the actual content
wlauragibson: i think it's really incredible that this is possible
wlauragibson: i just read your article, connected with some things and wrote about it and now we're just talking
wlauragibson: it just makes my head swim in a very fantastic way
wlauragibson: how do you feel?
iamtryingtopick: it's been feeling to me like we haven't been connecting that much.
iamtryingtopick: in fact over the weekend i was thinking the piece would end up being all our emails about trying to connect, get started, finish ...
iamtryingtopick: when it was seeming to me like we were not going to finish.
wlauragibson: what had you envisioned it to be, what had you hoped for
iamtryingtopick: crashed again.
wlauragibson: that fits
iamtryingtopick: you had said
it just makes my head swim in a very fantastic way
iamtryingtopick: all my prefs got trashed.
iamtryingtopick: now i am hearing these awful alert sounds.
iamtryingtopick: crashed again.
wlauragibson: just because i am marveling at the vehicle for our conversations does not mean i feel like we are connecting
wlauragibson: i feel estranged and have expressed such throughout the conversation, perhaps shown most clearly in apprehension
wlauragibson: there are moments when i think we understand each other
iamtryingtopick: okay, yeah, i'll buy that.
wlauragibson: and there are moments when it is strange
iamtryingtopick: see, that seems emblematic of my interactions with sag's.
wlauragibson: who is sag's
iamtryingtopick: i'm really into signs.
wlauragibson: it's the assumption that i do not agree with you that makes us different
iamtryingtopick: you are saying i assume that you do not agree with me?
iamtryingtopick: if that is true, then see, we are not connecting again, because i have never assumed you do not agree with me
wlauragibson: i am projecting that whatever i say will seem contrived or like i'm just agreeing with you because you are saying it
wlauragibson: so i would rather say nothing
iamtryingtopick: do you have this problem with other people?
wlauragibson: not really
wlauragibson: but i know the people i talk to on AIM
iamtryingtopick: i don't think that would make a difference.
wlauragibson: i wish it wasn't ending up like this
wlauragibson: i think we could get along
iamtryingtopick: we are not not getting along, laura!
iamtryingtopick: we are connecting about not connecting!
wlauragibson: well okay i'll try and explain it better
wlauragibson: or more clearly
iamtryingtopick: thank you
iamtryingtopick: the font you use makes it look like "more dearly"
wlauragibson: i think it is my insecurity about my art right now, the direction for my show, that is playing into this, so i'm sorry for that
iamtryingtopick: i wish you would stop apologizing.
wlauragibson: i think interactions and collaboration are important for my art and life right now
wlauragibson: i am wondering if you still feel like we are not connecting
iamtryingtopick: it's not really that
iamtryingtopick: this could go on forever
iamtryingtopick: without a climax
iamtryingtopick: i'd like a climax
wlauragibson: god, so would i
wlauragibson: what should we do/
wlauragibson: it's been 3.5 hours
iamtryingtopick: good god. i'm going to be editing this
iamtryingtopick: i gotta go
wlauragibson: fuck i wish things
wlauragibson: i wish i could at least look you in the eye or hug you or something
wlauragibson: if i ever do meet you it's going to be so weird
iamtryingtopick: no it won't be
iamtryingtopick: or maybe it will
wlauragibson: yeah you're doubting it
wlauragibson: it depends on how we end it
iamtryingtopick: cuz it seems like maybe we are on different pages again, because i started to feel close to you
iamtryingtopick: you talked about wanting to look me in the eye or hug
wlauragibson: i think you are
iamtryingtopick: and i think that made me feel really warm
wlauragibson: that's really all i want right now, and i'm not just saying that
wlauragibson: did i lose you?
wlauragibson: do you need to go?
iamtryingtopick: hours ago
wlauragibson: me too
wlauragibson: i need to ride home
iamtryingtopick: i need to look at your pic again
iamtryingtopick: substitute for looking in the eye
wlauragibson: i'll do the same
iamtryingtopick: my dad just called
iamtryingtopick: i'm lecturing him about astrology
iamtryingtopick: bye laura.
iamtryingtopick: i'm deciding
wlauragibson: good bye
iamtryingtopick: to still feel close to you
wlauragibson: thank you